The (Independent*) Porn Review

LUXURY EXPLETIVES GLEANED FROM CORRESPONDENCES WITH WESTY
OVER THE YEARS...

Why dont you just take your shoes to a cobbler and get him to weld your laces to your left bullshit?


Now listen you fucking toads faeces...

Like a dead zebras husband

Just a perverted little fucking pant

Like a bona fide fishmonger

Some kind of fucking star-fetic Godzillas ring dish

A human monkey fucker

Aristocratic pile of butterfly shit

Sitting there like a phalidomides left horse

Faecetic moron!

Like some kind of herpetic rhino

Eternal saxo-fucking morags

You one armed tree bandits

Blasphematic and psychomatic dogs nut

Like a mottering snifferlof

Some kind of orthontic ring grenade

You rip roaring rag heads

A half witted wanking machine

More tea fucker?

Dirty dingos dally hole

Like a pigs fucking gallstone

Zachariahs dribble duct

Some kind of light bulb cancer

Penelitic little flap

Half cast marmoset

Shes probably got a ring like raw sellotape

Epileptic buffoon

Red haired giant snake wanker

Looks like a duckbilled slagger-fuck

You, you slag fucking whore

I will do dirty stinking things to her dirty stinking gannet

Like a busker without flamboyant ears

Like a black uncles wankpot

Right load of old trampshit

For fucking out lud.

Are YOU betty george?

Its as insane as a rip-roaring rat riddled pie

Arse phlegm, Oi you- shit stains...

Its going off in a big old arseholed fucking pile of old cunt

She is a fucking slag-hoppatiding snide

Morags right naff cake

Its a strange emboidment

Stupid cunt-thaurus!

Up your abacus wall packs!

Its all gone armyfied

Got an arse like a cows banjo

Aretha-holic.

Oi dogshit

Ive had more fun with a born again frog

Pancreatic rangpots

Bollocks to your mothers arse

You jeznaferrick jehozaflots

You grivelling snot

Im gonna come over there and headbut your faeces right up your arse piece


Once is funny.

Twice, is shit.